Resilience is an ability to rise to a challenge and conquer it, or rise to a challenge with optimism without letting fear take a paralyzing hold, or the ability to bounce back from adversity. There are people who have a lot of resilience. They can depict humor on challenges, they can handle difficulties with a sense of confidence, thereby reducing anxiety levels in troublesome times.
I have to admit that my skill level on this quality hasn't been very high, but I'm learning and practicing the art because experts say that it can be learned. Although, I have a long way to go, I'm getting better at it. I'm learning to turn negatives into positives. When I lost my job at Mini-Circuits 1 1/2 year ago, a little bit of fear gripped me (even though I hated that workplace). Although, I couldn't change the situation, I could see it as an opportunity to move on to something better.
A good attitude plays a big role in resilience, it's an area where you have total control. A situation might not be changed, but the attitude towards it can be. Laughter is a good coping mechanism which reduces cortisol blood levels-a stress hormone. So, it's a good idea to seek a smile, watch a funny movie, or just spend some time in a favorite, pleasant activity when things seem to be going "south". Sometimes, facing a difficulty is easier with a smile. Venting or "complaining", (that's what it really is) is another way to cope. Whether it's a friend or through journaling, calmness usually follows because a level of clarity is reached. Complaining has a negative connotation, but I think it's ok as long as you don't squat on it.
Guilt has a role in resilience also. By blaming ourselves, we stay stuck and unable to move on. I put my 18 year old dog to sleep in March of 2009. For a whole year I told myself that I shouldn't have done it, that I did it prematurely (even though she wore diapers and had to be assisted to walk and get up on her paws). She had a good appetite and never lost her cognitive functions, so I was unsure that I had done the right thing. I know now that I did the right thing (I just should've spent more time with her). I guess that I am still in the process of letting go of that guilt, I am keeping her close to my heart by remembering her and my times with her-good and bad but concentrating the good.
Even though I need to live to 250 years to learn resiliency, I'm on the road to learning it; I'm aware and am practicing. I really can't learn it without setbacks and challenges (darn, some fear creeping up again). I guess it's one of those things that need to be practiced in order to strengthen it.
1 comment:
What a very thoughtful post you have written here. I enjoyed the way you wrote it and the way it makes the reader stop and think about their own resiliency. I think the older I have gotten the less confidence I have in myself as to when I was younger any roadblock that came in my way I was always able to handle that roadblock. I do however feel you are right in having a good attitude and a sense of humor can help you in facing hard times or when you are sad. I love your post here and very thought provoking. Good job. jj
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